Post #100

I'll just go ahead and unceremoniously batter down that 4th wall once again to start things off -- hopefully for good reason.  After five years, with this entry you're currently reading...

Häxprocess has officially reached its 100th post.

(much rejoicing, fanfare, etc)

It seems not all that long ago that I was self-consciously clicking "publish" for the first time on 4 April of 2012.  The blog has covered lots of ground since then, as its solitary author has more or less adhered to a more or less frequent posting schedule.  My goal for 2016 was two posts per month, an objective that -- if you let your eye wander to the lefthand side of the window -- you'll note I failed back in April when I posted only once.  June, seeing his opportunity, soon thereafter disappeared entirely from the calendar.  Which means July's now my month to get back on the ball.

At the same time 100 posts is a milestone, however, it also seems like such a paltry number when compared to the avid, multiple-posts-a-week sites that comprise the blogosphere.  Thankfully, I can say with complete honesty that lack of activity on Häxprocess is not a reflection of inactivity in the other areas of my life -- more often than not, life itself has been the single biggest factor in my absence from writing.  My struggle with consistency is not so much a struggle with laziness as it is a lack of quality time: when I've sat down to write these past few months, I've had minutes and not hours, or I've been exhausted and unfocused, or I've had other things to work on.

But motivation and time usage has a lot to do with what I thought I'd briefly discuss with this, Häxprocess' 100th post.  That is the importance of understanding that, at any given choice, we have a choice between consuming or cultivating.  Before you close the tab, let me assure you that this isn't some kind of socialist philosophy I'm talking about, even if comparisons can be drawn.  Simply, what I intend by this specific terminology is that we should evaluate the use of time by whether we are getting something or giving something.

Am I consuming or am I cultivating?

Am I taking or giving?

Am I receiving or serving?

Am I being passive or active?

These are some good evaluating questions to ask ourselves, especially in our free time.  Most (though not all) of us don't have a problem putting in a little effort when we're being paid for it.  However, when I clock out and head home, what characterizes my activities and attitudes?  Do I drop onto the couch and turn on the TV or fire up the PS3 (yes, I'm a generation behind), because now is "my" time?  Maybe there's nothing explicitly wrong with that decision, but I should realize that I'm choosing to spend the time consuming, not cultivating.

The issue here is not necessarily an issue of right vs. wrong -- unless of course laziness is an idol you wrestle with -- but rather an issue of right vs. better.  In that regard, some who are reading this simply won't care.  Good enough is good enough.  But for those of us who are striving to bring every nook and cranny of our hearts and lives into submission to Jesus Christ (2 Cor 10.5), this is a great way to impact the area of productivity as well as cultivate an attitude of selflessness.

Why?  Because if I'm thinking in terms of consuming/cultivating, evaluating the way I'm spending my time according to these parameters, it's much harder to simply zone out -- at least, not without feeling convicted about it.  If I know what the better thing to do is, and I'm clearly identifying whether what I'm doing at any given moment is self-serving or self-sacrificing, then suddenly the choice is much easer to make.

For me, my leisure time is when I am prone to be the most self-serving.  Because, like a consumer, I think it exists for me.  It's my time to rest.  It's my opportunity to do things that I want to do.  Therefore, it's easy to enter a vegitative state until (and sometimes after) my wife comes home, even when the dishes aren't done, the lawn needs moving, and there are unfinished projects as far as the eye can see.  With that kind of operative mindset, irritation when something interrupts my "earned" repose is only a snap of the fingers away.

With everything, there's a balance.  There's time to unplug, to sleep, to consume.  Resting is both a gift and a command (Matt 11.28; Ex 20.8).  However, if American Christians were to honestly evaluate their time usage, I think we would unanimously come to the conclusion that we're merely passing, not exceeding expectations.  Our habitual patterns -- inbred, learned, and adopted -- are consumerist; our norms are far from self-sacrificing.  The moments when we do choose to serve others are the exception, not the standard.

But we're not really doing anything wrong, we say, sipping our comfortable cappuccino.

We're not sinning, we insist, folding our hands over the gospel according to Self-Interest, we could just do a better job caring for others.

This thought process reveals our low estimation of God's standard of holiness, and our high estimation of our own goodness.  We forget that any righteousness we might know is His anyway, attributed to us through the blood of Jesus, and therefore we don't get to set our own parameters on what is "good enough" for the Kingdom.  The new reality for a follower of Jesus is that we are freed from sin not to be self-interested, but to be servants, to live to glorify God and meet the needs of others before we even consider our own.  The fallacious "in order to love others you must first learn to love yourself" philosophy has sunken in deeply into our culture, purchased in the package deal that proclaims the almighty "I" as the center of the universe.  In order to develop cultivating patterns, we must see through this arrogant self-deception -- otherwise, we will never be anything more than consumers who occasionally give back whenever we might feel charitable.

The concept of self-denial is more often seen as some kind of radical self-abuse in our day and age, rather than perceived as a form of focused discipline.  That's probably a topic for another post, but it is embedded in this issue as well.  Being a cultivator isn't just about serving others, it's also choosing to be productive when I could instead be passive.  I can come home from work drained and flop onto the sofa... or I could teach myself to be dedicated, sit down at the computer and do some writing, pick up the guitar and work on my craft, do a project around the house... etcetera.  There's lots of specific ways to think about this, but the core issue is simply that we should be far more inclined to be at work than at repose.  That doesn't mean we should be workaholics who don't have the ability to rest, but it does mean that we should much more strictly regulate our time consumption.  I know my own inclination to use weariness as an excuse for unplugging -- physically, mentally, or otherwise -- but "rest" doesn't need to be synonymous with "passivity."  I should instead train myself to challenge my own sense of limitation by applying myself to productive, cultivating ways of resting -- using my free time to invest in service, craft, hobby, or project.

At the core, this post is actually only connected to the idea of productivity, and not directly about it.  It's really about being a servant -- a mentality that is cultivating by default: it sees and meets needs, it understands and handles problems, it prioritizes, it is proactive.  A servant mentality removes ill-conceived notions of ownership and entitlement.  A servant heart asks, "What can I do for Your Kingdom by serving others?"  By contrast, a consumer heart can only ask, "How can I make life more comfortable for me?"  Both of those pursuits have eternal consequences, but only one of them has a happy ending -- the deep joy and satisfaction of knowing and being known by our Savior, and receiving from Him the only affirmation our hearts should ever crave: "Well done, good and faithful servant.  Enter into my rest."

My intent for Häxprocess when I started it remains the same: that is for it to be a blog for personal, creative expression, with special emphasis on writing about Christian living and accurate biblical interpretation.  It's not a strict goal, but it is driven by the purpose of glorifying God through an ability He's given me.

It's a small way for me to be a cultivator rather than a consumer in my free time.

For the next 100 posts and upward, may God continue to use me and Häxprocess in a way that is pleasing to Him.

Nashville Rescue Mission, 2015

This past week, Tara and I had the tremendous opportunity to take a team of eight high school students down to Nashville, Tennessee to work in the city's Rescue Mission, an organization devoted to serving and rescuing the homeless.  There's a lot I could write about in this post -- God's incredible provision, the wonderful team of Christian musicians who housed us for the week, or my infatuation with Spaceteam -- but I want to instead remember the names of five men who touched us.

All smiles and encouragement, Quinton ("Q") was perhaps the brightest point of my week.  A man who loved the Lord, did all that was requested of him without hesitation, and spoke earnestly of God's grace in his life, Quinton was a humble and earnest example of what grace can do in penitent hearts.

A young man who bared his heart to me, Brit is still looking at an uphill climb as he struggles to overcome his addictions.  However, I believe that God is glorified when we choose to struggle against our sin, out of a desire to surrender all for holiness, instead of succumbing to it.  Brit's testimony was a powerful reminder that all sin is a type of addiction, and addiction to self is perhaps the most difficult to overcome.

Bryant, the volunteer services coordinator at the Nashville Rescue Mission, was our guide for the week.  He is a graduate of the Mission's program with a powerful testimony of his own, and is now thoroughly invested in working to assist the homeless and addicts who walk through the doors of the Mission on a daily basis.

Soft-spoken and unassuming, Will is a hard worker who humbly asked us to keep praying for his submission to the Lord's will.  He was a joy to work and converse with.  I'm reminded that he loves his wife and child, both of whom support him in his decision to overcome the addictions in his life.

Of all the men we worked alongside, George weighs perhaps the heaviest on my heart, simply because he has recently re-joined the Mission's program and still seems to have one foot in the world. Quick to admit his mistakes, George was impressed by our group and spoke openly about his weaknesses and failures, but still seems like he needs to take more bold steps of faith in order to overcome them.  I trust that the Spirit will lead him to a deeper understanding of the Truth!

God has been merciful to all these men.  Each was on a path of self-destruction, but our Father snatched each of them back and placed them on a different trajectory.  Their stories are proof of the fact that no sin is too engrained to overcome through Christ's power.

To Him be the glory!

New Years' Resolution (As Such)

I'm not much for New Years' resolutions.  If I were, I'd be failing already because this first post of 2015 concerning New Years' resolutions is coming a half-month late.

However, I do have a Biblical passage/ideology that I intend to apply this year -- an easy-to-miss verse in an easy-to-gloss-over passage that has some hugely significant application.

The prophet Jonah's story is known even outside the realm of Biblical study.  Critics of biblical inerrancy make much of the miraculous "delivery system" God employs in this short book, but the focal point of the text actually has very little to do with giant sea creatures.  What's truly remarkable about the book of Jonah -- aside from the fact that an entire populace unanimously renounce their wicked ways (though they would eventually return to them, prompting the prophecy of Nahum a century later) -- is the fact that God once again employs a disagreeable person to accomplish His purposes.  Of course, that doesn't give us an excuse to be disagreeable, but it is encouraging to know that I'm not the only one who struggles to be compassionate or to follow the route God is clearly laying before me.

As a political zealot, Jonah had pressured King Jeroboam II into expanding Israel's northern borders against the encroaching Assyrian empire -- restoring them to the point at which they had been in the days of David and Solomon (2 Kin 14.23-27).  Like his fellow Israelites, Jonah knew well the atypical propensity for cruelty and bloodlust that characterized the Assyrian nation, and seems to have been a man who seemed to need little provocation to become resentful.  Ninevah, possibly the largest city in the world at that time, found its home on the Tigris River 500 miles northeast of Israel.  It was one of Assyria's royal cities, served as its capital for many years, and was a center for idolatrous worship.

Because he knew God was "gracious and merciful," "slow to anger and abundant in lovingkindness," and "One who relents from doing harm," (4.2) Jonah at first refused to go to Ninevah -- because he feared -- at best -- that they might brutally murder him, or -- at worst -- the people might actually repent and that God might actually forgive them.  Strange priorities, sure.  The notion of his people's oppressors walking away scot-free for saying they were sorry didn't sit well with the prophet.  And so, because Jonah refused to go, God was forced to deliver him directly to Ninevah by some fairly unconventional means.

In the wake of Jonah's message, accompanied by the Spirit's convicting presence and prompted by the occurrence of two plagues (765 and 759 BC) and a solar eclipse (763 BC), the entire population of Ninevah turned out in simultaneous repentance.  Such a wide-spread scale of earnest confession the world has perhaps never seen since.  However, despite the fact that any missionary would have considered it a rousing success, Jonah parked himself on a hill outside the city to watch, wait, and feel sorry for himself.  Maybe he thought God would take pity and decide to smite a few Assyrians, if only to lessen His servant's stinging pride.

It was here, seated in his place of judgment, that Jonah accused the Lord of being too kind and too generous.  Jonah appreciated God's grace and forgiveness when it came to himself and to his people.  Historically, they were no strangers to the kindness and patience of the Almighty.  When it came to the Assyrians, however, Jonah couldn't fathom why God would extend mercy.  This was a people who could barely define the concept.

And then, as Jonah moped on his little throne on the hillside, God asked him the question.

"Do you do well to be angry?"

This simple query reveals so much about the patient, inviting nature of our Father -- the One who is "gracious and merciful," "slow to anger and abundant in lovingkindness."  Instead of rebuking the wayward prophet -- who, by virtue of his calling, was held to a greater standard of obedience than was the pagan city below him -- God extended to Jonah the opportunity for humble self-evaluation.

The question wasn't, "Who do you think you are?"

The question was, "Is it justified for you to withhold compassion?"

In his analysis of the ministry of the prophet Jonah, H. A. Ironside observed the following:

[Those who have a special ministry to the people of God] are judged of the Lord, not merely as saints, but as servants.  Nor does failure relieve them of responsibility to serve, but calls all the louder for self-judgment, that they may be in a right state of soul to minister in holy things.

Here's what I know.  Like Jonah, I am a failure of a servant.  I am a man who is abysmally selfish.  I wrestle with pride and a quick temper that no one but me ever sees.  Were I to list all of my faults, not only would you stop reading (probably more due to boredom than disgust), but I'd also be defeating the purpose of this post.

Instead of dwelling on my flaws and becoming discouraged, or instead of assuming my actions to be justified, what if I stopped to evaluate my actions with that simple question -- "Do I do well?"  In any given scenario, instead of defaulting to my normal mode of operation, what if I paused and considered whether or not the choice (conscious or otherwise) I'm making is really the best, most rightful option?  Maybe it's not always my anger that needs to be evaluated.  Maybe it's not always a deliberate sin.  Maybe the question could be, "Do I do well to be comfortable?" -- do I have a good reason for sitting on the couch tonight?  Is my sense of contentment the gateway for sin to enter?

We're all failures, but failure doesn't make us unusable.  Failure unaddressed -- failure to "self-judge" as Ironside put it -- makes us unusable.  But the fact that we have failed and will fail does not mean we are no longer fit for service.  Even Jonah was useful to God.  Though his account ends abruptly, the fact that Jonah himself is attributed as the writer of the book would imply that he eventually learned his lesson.  However, to truly minister effectively, we must not fall into Jonah's trap -- thinking we're better off than we are, assuming our selfish reservations are justified, withholding compassion from the lost.

Earnest self-evaluation and regular repentance keeps us from wandering into the types of sins we never thought ourselves capable of committing.  Earnest self-evaluation and regular repentance keeps us from parking ourselves on hillsides of self-righteousness and deeming sorrowful sinners unworthy of God's grace.

"Do I do well?"

It's not really a New Years' Resolution, but it is something I want to try this year.  If I'm faithful, I'll come out of 2015 a little closer to bringing every thought into captivity for the sake of obedience (2 Cor 10.5).

Godly Leadership

I was recently revisiting a study I'd done on godly leadership, back when Tara and I were engaged and in the process of premarital counseling, and thought it might be beneficial to share here.

This will be a little different than my typical rambling post that goes on for paragraphs.  I've opted instead to leave my thoughts in bullet-pointed lists, with links to all applicable passages for anyone who is interested in further study.  Hopefully this will be both as humbling and encouraging to you as it was to me.

_ _ _ _ _ _

Godly Leadership

A leader is first a follower

• 

  a follower is humble and submissive to imperfect human authorities; this means choosing to submit even when one knows the authority is wrong (Luke 2.51; John 19.11)
• a follower practices submission, not stubbornness; meekness, not weakness (Phil 2.5-8; Isaiah 66.2)
• a follower is continually dependent upon the Spirit – daily surrendering self for the purpose of glorifying God, allowing the Spirit to do the living (Gal 5.16, 25)
• a follower allows himself to be led by the Spirit -- recognizing that He will lead to places of suffering and trials, and still going willingly (Matt 4.1-11)
• a follower cannot move toward the death of self without daily learning to deny self (Luke 9.23-26).

A mature disciple lives like Jesus lives, denying personal "rights" and following with a submissive spirit; in so doing, he becomes a leader among men.

Characteristics of a leader

• mature, devoid of youthful foolishness, and spiritually strong (2 Tim 2.22-26; 1 Cor 16.13-14)
• delights in keeping the commands of the Lord, recognizing that keeping them is the “whole duty of man” (Ecc 12.13, John 15.8-13; Psa 119.97)
• mourns for his sinful condition (Matt 5.4)
• is exuberantly thankful for God's grace (1 Thess 5.18; Psa 100)
• resistant to the “old man” influence (Eph 4.22; Col 3.5; 2 Cor 5.16-21)
• gentle in speech, yet speaking truth (Col 4.6; Eph 4.15)
• rejoicing in forgiveness (Zeph 3.15-17)
• sacrificial, the way Christ sacrificed for us (John 10.11; 15.13)
• daily devoted to reading, studying, and teaching the Word (Psa 1.1-2; 19.7-11)
• values productivity and a good reputation (Matt 12.33-37; Luke 6.44)
• practices purposeful living, redeeming the time (Mark 9.50; Eph 5.16)
• practices vigilance (Luke 12.35-37)
• practices humility (Jas 4.10)

Offices of a leader (the roles of Christ):

• Prophet: effectively communicates truth in encouragement, rebuke, and instruction
• Priest: prayerfully intercedes on the behalf of others, and inspires/encourages daily worship
• King: leading versus lording: provides direction and exhibits authority with kindness, grace, and humility

A leader's ultimate goal is to be like Christ, delighting in becoming holy as He is holy.  His ultimate desire is to not just see the grace of God revealed to him personally, but also to share the power of that grace with others.

A leader recognizes that sin begins in the heart

(Matt 5.27-30; 15.18)

• a leader recognizes that protection against sin begins with mental preparedness (1 Pet 1.13; 2 Cor 10.5)
• a leader flees from places/areas of temptation, recognizing that half the battle is removing areas of weakness (1 Cor 10.13; 1 Peter 2.11; Jas 4.7; Matt 6.13)
• a leader understands that we have a tendency to fool ourselves into thinking we are living well (Jer 17.9); therefore, a leader checks his confidence with genuine self-evaluation, seeing himself through God's eyes as opposed to the lens his own thinking (1 Cor 10.13; Heb 4.12)
• a leader is not shackled by past failures; a leader remembers God's faithfulness (Isa 43.18)
• a leader specifically addresses issues of temptation and removes them at the root to prevent falling into sin (Matt 18.9)
• a leader practices regular confession and repentance, keeping a short account of sin (Jas 5.16; 1 Cor 13.7)
• a leader recognizes his responsibility to protect himself and those under his leadership from things that could potentially lead to temptation (1 John 2.16)

A leader understands that it is not enough to treat just the presenting symptoms by changing behavior, but that the source of the problem must also be addressed.

A leader recognizes the priorities of God

(Micah 6.8; Psalm 51.17)

• a leader takes joy in loving others (causing joy in them through his expression of joy) (John 15.11)
• a leader practices a lifestyle which reflects the requirements of the Lord and exhibits the fruits of holiness (Gal 5.22-23)
• through love and truth, a leader edifies both peers and followers (Eph 4.15-16)
• a leader glorifies God, not himself (John 7.18)
• a leader passionately follows the commandments of the Lord (John 14.21)
• a leader is motivated both by future reward (Rom 8.23; Phil 3.21), but also by the immediate benefit of glorifying God through loving others (John 13.34)
• a leader recognizes the temporal nature of things of this world, valuing instead the steadfast love of the Lord (Psa 63.3; 1 John 2.17; Heb 10.34)

A leader is more concerned with the pursuit of righteousness and wisdom than pleasing self or others.

A leader recognizes his responsibilities to others

• a leader is a cheerful giver and practices the love of God which gladly meets the needs of others (2 Cor 9.7; Phil 2.4; Micah 6.8)
• a leader takes joy in others' joys, and sorrows in others' sorrows (Rom 12.15)
• a leader recognizes that true blessing comes not from self-motivated morality, but as a result of worshiping the Father through love for others and joy in Christ (Acts 20.35)
• a leader practices whole-hearted ministry and service (1 Pet 5.2)
• a leader is committed to growth through interaction and accountability (Prov 27.17), and practices the type of conduct which inspires others to godly action (Heb 10.24)
• in the marriage relationship, a leader fulfills his role as provider: as Adam was created from the dust, and Eve taken from his side, man is inexorably linked to his role as provider and the woman to her relational role as nurturer (1 Cor 7.4; 1 Tim 5.8)
• a leader is prepared for proactive and defensive Christian living through careful study of the Word (2 Tim 3.16-17; Eph 6.10-20)
• a leader recognizes that the underlying joy in sacrificial lifestyle lies in doing what is truly pleasing to God (Micah 6.8; Psa 51.17; 2 Cor 9.7; Deut. 10.12)

A leader is willing to give up what he wants for the benefit of others: love always requires some kind of self-denial, and often demands suffering.

Therefore

A leader is a type of Christ, a man or woman who values the things of God more than the things of this world, and loves other believers in the following ways: by encouraging growth, by actively serving, by placing others' needs ahead of his or her own, and by valuing other believers the way the Father values them.  In mirroring Christ, a leader should “rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep” (Rom 12.15), an empathy that can only be developed through careful and considerate attention to the other's needs. Therefore, a leader should practice the discipline of "gracious listening" -- in the same way that God hears our prayers and bears our concerns on His heart. A leader will seek to portray the Father in every way, being ultimately devoted to the command to be holy as God Himself is holy.