28 August 2020

Three personal blessings in 2020

2020 has claimed another casualty.  The other night, I had to retire my faithful French press after it slipped off the drying rack, hit the countertop, and cracked.  I felt like playing "Taps" as I reverently laid it in the trash can.  And then swept a bunch of veggie ends on top of it.

Believe it or not, this is something of a gratefulness post, because in the midst of the 2020 pandemic, a broken French press is just about the worst thing that has happened to me and my family.  It is incredible to me when I pause to think about the innumerable and unspeakable hardships that have befallen our world: death and permanent health impairment from Covid-19, unemployment, debt, riots and looting, isolation, fear, loss.  For me, things have remained fairly consistent, and that is an incredible mercy from the Father.  Many people who I know have not had the same experience.

Each morning as I've walked the dog, my prayer time has started with simple gratitude to the Lord: "Father, thank you for the breath in my lungs today."  As I've studied the Scriptures, I've been challenged that so much hinges on the Christian's ability to pursue and maintain a spirit of thanksgiving.  Simple gratefulness is the enemy of a host of sins -- see Ephesians 5.4, where a simple spirit of thanksgiving is the antidote to "sexual immorality, impurity, covetousness... filthiness, foolish talk, and crude joking"; and 1 Thessalonians 5.18, where giving thanks is connected to giving voice to (rather than "quenching") the Spirit.  It's alarming the weeds of entitlement, bitterness, and arrogance that spring up in the hard, mineral-deprived soil of ingratitude.

Here are some things that I've chosen to be intentionally grateful for over the last few months.  In truth, they were unexpected, positive "fallout" of the pandemic and quarantine experience, and I couldn't honestly ignore them.

My family.  Even through the hardships, discouragements, and uphill journeys, my greatest joy in life is being a husband and a father.  My son turned two in June, and my wife is now 7 months pregnant with our first daughter.  Working from home for the months of March through May, to be present for some amazing developmental moments in Zeke's young life, was such an unforeseen blessing.  I've on-and-off been "that dad" -- the one who is constantly taking pictures of his kid (never thought I'd be "that dad," by the way) -- and looking back at many of the shots I snapped during the spring, it's amazing to me to see all those profound but subtle changes in his face, voice, and mannerisms.  Those are precious moments for which I was able to be home, by God's grace.  Were the world experiencing more "normal" circumstances, I might have only experienced those changes more indirectly.

My church.  The people who comprise Fellowship Bible Church have found ways to stay united through it all.  Their love and support for our leadership has been such a blessing in a time where it has felt like our hands have all been collectively tied.  Through extended online church and frustrating social distancing requirements upon reopening, our people have simply gathered to fellowship and worship.  All of these circumstances have served to show that God's Great Commission purposes for His Body pervade even a scenario that ground the rest of the world to a halt.  Even the gates of hell cannot prevail against the Church (Matt 16.18).  The hardships reveal who is truly invested in spiritual growth and edification, and force us to be inventive in how we continue to do what we have always done.  I'm thankful for a persevering church family, held unerringly by the One who is "able to keep you from stumbling" (Jude 24).

The internet.  As a youth pastor, I find myself criticizing more than celebrating things like the internet, social media, and video games.  However, the long period of separation from extended family, friends, and my students reminded me anew that all tools are only as good as what they're used for.  In 2020, we have witnessed both the ills and the gains of media and technology: ugly conspiracy theories going viral, racism not being exposed for the purpose of change but filmed for the sake of outrage and backlash, media outlets functioning as judge and jury for events with absolutely no clear context, memes substituting for rational arguments, conversation undermined by accusation.  But Zoom was truly a godsend for us in youth ministry, Facebook live was so beneficial for conducting online prayer times, and FaceTime became a means for me to continue direct and vital counseling.  I praise God for the common grace in these tools that have enabled us to maintain the immense priority of meeting and fellowshipping together (Heb 10.25).

These are just three things that have given me pause to celebrate in 2020.

To be honest, I've not always maintained this type of attitude.  I've been prone to anxiety and quick to complain -- even eager to complain about restrictions and mandates that have been laid down from the powers that be.  I've needed all the inconveniences of 2020 to help me realize my dependence upon things less than Christ.  It's also an indictment of my heart that I've not always been this intentionally grateful, in 2019 and years past, prior to the world being turned upside down by a virus.  As the year rolls on, it is my intent to further grow in this discipline, and in so doing allow the Lord more fertile, submissive soil in my heart in which to work.