The Ministry of Parenthood

Ever since Tara and I started down the journey of parenthood, I've been especially moved by passages such as Psalm 78 that emphasize externalizing our faith by passing it on to the next generation.  As I study the Scriptures, I am convinced that a faith that is real is a self-replicating faith.  As a youth pastor, seeking to instill faith in others is something I've been seeking to do for a number of years with teenage students who aren't really my children.  However, with the advent of parenthood and the arrival of my son, Zeke, this purpose has gained an entirely new dimension.

Asaph writes the following purpose statement into his epic history of the Israelite nation in the wilderness in Psalm 78.5-8:

[Yawhweh] established a testimony in Jacob
    and appointed a law in Israel,
which he commanded our fathers
    to teach to their children,
that the next generation might know them,
    the children yet unborn,
and arise and tell them to their children,
    so that they should set their hope in God
and not forget the works of God,
    but keep his commandments;
and that they should not be like their fathers,
    a stubborn and rebellious generation,
a generation whose heart was not steadfast,
    whose spirit was not faithful to God.

There are three goals here for the next generation -- that they should "set their hope in God," that they would "keep his commandments," and, by contrast to their forefathers, that they would have a "steadfast heart" with spirits "faithful to God."

It's not exactly formulaic to teach someone to "set their hope in God."  No simple three-step solution.  Each of us can probably think of individuals for whom we've been praying for years to receive the gospel, but no matter how often or how patiently we labor to make Jesus' love known to them, the adage about leading horses to water remains true.  The best way to inspire hope, therefore, is to be hopeful yourself.  Ultimately, change of heart is the work of the Holy Spirit, and so my goal as a parent can't be to change my children, but to lead my children by setting the example of clinging to Jesus with all my might.  Paul repeatedly said to the Corinthians, "Be imitators of me, as I imitate Christ" (1 Cor 4.16; 11.1).  That's how we inspire our children to "set their hope in God."

While parenting is so much more than just teaching your kids to keep rules, it certainly is not less than that.  Asaph's second purpose in Psalm 78 is that the upcoming generation might "not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments."  Even if we fancy ourselves progressive parents who lead more by positive than negative reinforcement, at some point we need to emphasize and enforce the importance of obeying God's Word.  I'd argue that requires a strongly corrective element, because the Bible repeatedly states that the use of physical discipline in a young man's life brings correction and life, and is intrinsically connected to spiritual upbringing (Prov 13.24; 19.18; 22.15; 23.13-14; 29.15; Eph 6.4).  I notice also that the "rod and staff" of the Lord -- the painful instruments of shepherd's instruments of herding, correcting, and steering away from death -- should be regarded as a comfort to the Christian's soul (Psa 23.4).  While it is certainly the prerogative of parents to make their own rules, the rules we primarily seek to enforce should be biblically based -- God's rules, not just ours.  I always tell my teens that the arbitrary rules parents set may often seem unfair, but are not always unreasonable, and must still be honored.  More important, however, are the truly biblical rules that Scripture commands, such as loving one another well, speaking kindly, practicing forgiveness, and being obedient from the heart to parents and authorities.  Those are biblical "rules," and parents do well to enforce those kinds of standards in their children's lives.  We are after training our kids to learn to "keep his commandments" from the heart, not just because we say so.

Lastly, there is a great call for parents to raise children who possess steadfast and faithful hearts.  The contrast for Asaph in Psalm 78 is the first generation of Israelites coming out of Egypt, who moaned and complained in the desert, despite God's incredible faithfulness and generous provision.  Kids are expert complainers, but they often learn from the best: mom and dad, who have expectations of one another, of the neighbors, of the government, of the township, etc that are not always met.  Our goal as parents must be to inspire in our children gratitude and reliance upon God, the type of dependant faithfulness that always regards God as our gracious provider, despite what we might see in our present circumstances.

If you like me are still keeping track of your child's age in months rather than years, you know that you aren't really at the point yet that you can begin to have these types of conversations with your child.  It's such a beautiful time for parents to simply show unconditional love to a young life, where the only thing he or she can express is dependence.  But just because we're not necessarily able to teach verbally, we do have the ability to begin creating an atmosphere in our home that will facilitate later on the things that we intend to teach our children.  Often, parents struggle to instill biblical values in their children because those kids grew up in an environment where the message didn't match the atmosphere.  Even infants can sense tone, emotion, safety, and discomfort.

Imagine you have the good goal of teaching your kid these three purposes from Psalm 78, but he or she grows up in a house where the most common sounds are the TV and the nitpicking, the sometimes harsh tones of parents directed at one another (or at the dog).  The atmosphere the child begins to grow up in is one of disconnectedness, frustration, and obligatory caregiving.  What kinds of examples are being laid?  Mom and Dad communicate by trying to one-up the other in how difficult their day was?  Mom is the anxious type who worries about everything and irritates Dad, who is far too laid-back to be concerned about anything?  

Maybe I didn't cover your area of weakness in those hypotheticals, but the point is this: in order for us to be good parents and achieve the objectives of Psalm 78, then we must be disciples of Jesus ourselves.  Each of us must love, serve, and respect his or her spouse, be stewards of what God has given, demonstrate grace and compassion in the way we speak to and of others inside our home, and be personally disciplined in the ways we pray, study the Word, and put Scripture into practice in our everyday lives.

It's a tall order.  But it's what is implied in Psalm 78 and Moses' plea in Deuteronomy to the new generation of Israelites on the plains of Moab.  Instructing the next generation in the ways of the Lord cannot be done without firsthand belief and experience.  We must be willing to do the hard work ourselves if we have any realistic expectations of our children doing the same.

Get Rid Of Slimy guidelineS: Faulty justification and sexual ethics

I grew up doing lots of reading.  One particular thing I read over and over was Bill Watterson's Calvin & Hobbes, which I still consider to be one of the most masterful uses of the comic art form (right up there with Larson's The Far Side and Opus by Berkeley Breathed).  Spaceman Spiff, deranged mutant killer snowmen, and Calvinball were just a few of my favorite elements of the strip, but one recurring gag that also stands out to me is Calvin's ill-fated G.R.O.S.S. club -- that, of course, is an acronym for "Get Rid Of Slimy girlS."  The club's singular mission: to irritate Susie Derkins, Calvin's neighbor and sometimes playmate.  More often than not, however, Calvin's planned methods of pranking or harassing woefully backfire, largely due to Hobbes' partiality to Susie and his reluctance to be an accomplice to the dubious schemes.

We'll return to that idea.

On Monday, I was reading an online scientific journal (not something I make a practice of doing), but the striking excerpt grabbed my attention:

"Approximately 40 percent of men have experienced inexplicable feelings of tearfulness, sadness, or irritability after mutually consensual sex and 3-4 percent experience it regularly, according to a survey published in peer-reviewed journal."

When I saw the post, I turned to my wife, read it aloud to her, and said, "Hmm, maybe all those Judeo-Christian ethics were on to something after all."

The paper, in its entirety, can be accessed here, and is pretty technical.  In short, the study utilized social media and online polling to research a psychological phenomenon called Postcoital Dysphoria (PCD), which psychologists attribute to any inexplicable, overwhelmingly negative emotional responses after sexual activity that, by all normal considerations, was consensual and fulfilling.  Previously documented in women, PCD is being newly observed in men, and is suspected to perhaps be even more prevalent among members of that gender.  The reason for this is not uniform, but the journal suggests strong connections between the dysphoria and a). childhood abuse, and b). cultural expectations surrounding the sexual activity of Western males -- that is, inflated and often self-imposed pressures to desire, be desired, and perform.  If the latter component is true, then the "condition" is at least partly connected to simple disappointment.

However, the real cause seems to be much deeper than that.  In their own words, men involved in the study described their experience of PCD as "a strong sense of self-loathing about myself," "a lot of shame," "negative feelings which are difficult to describe," and "hold[ing] in the sadness for hours until she leaves as we do not live together."  "Weird," says culture.  Because, under normal circumstances, 2 + 2 should -- from a logical perspective -- always = 4.  Therefore, we must decipher why consensual sexual activity between healthy adults would ever result in anything other than euphoria.  The unspoken presupposition is that dysphoria should only be connected with sexual coercion, abuse, trauma, or any variety of other factors, and is out of place anywhere else.

Calvin repeatedly enlisted Hobbes in an ill-fated and juvenile attempt to rid his immediate context of undesirables -- girls in general, but namely Susie Derkins.  He created a structure for his unwavering presupposition (that girls are gross and intolerable), situated the base of operations in the tree fort (to represent its lofty, enlightened ideals), and operated with overtly aggressive parameters (e.g. water balloons, stuffed animal kidnapping, mud slinging, etc).  Our culture has its own G.R.O.S.S. club in regard to this issue, one not targeting "slimy girls," but rather any form of morals, values, norms, or reasonings that embrace a worldview of personal accountability.  In a society where pedophilia is gaining traction as a sexual preference (as opposed to a criminally punishable psychological disorder), is it really any surprise that we would eventually resort to a DSM classification of "Postcoital Dysphoria" to rename guilt and shame associated with sexuality?  In an evolutionary cosmology, experiences of guilt and shame connected to coitus can only be artifacts of repressive religion or an unfortunate psychological dysfunction -- certainly not the result of "sin."

The point of this post is not to question the legitimacy of this study or the diagnosis, or even to accuse our society of being overly diagnosis-happy (which we are), but rather to point out the subtle/not-so-subtle ways our modern, "enlightened," pseudo-scientific minds are so ingrained with presuppositions that we will blindly create justifications for every type of sinful behavior under the sun.  In other words, because we assume sexuality is natural, animalistic, instinctive, preferential, and any number of other dismissive modifiers, then obviously any negative side-effects experienced must be the result of psychological conditions, or the vestigial artifacts of archaic religious worldviews, or some other inexplicable phenomena -- because obviously God is not real and there are no ethical implications for sex, other than what we ourselves legally ascribe to the acknowledged (but modifiable) list of deviant behaviors.

To be fair, Postcoital Dysphoria is something that even married individuals reported experiencing.  By God's Biblical standards, the legitimacy of their relationship is not in question, so marriage itself is not the only issue -- some other psychosomatic or biological factor can cause PCD.  And the reality is that sin truly does affect the psyche (Jer 17.9; Mark 7.20; Eph 4.17; Rom 12.2).  For that reason, I'm sure there are absolutely legitimate cases of Postcoital Dysphoria where committed, sacrificial, otherwise happily married couples still experience some form it -- because sin has damaged everything.  In fact, even if sexual activity in a marriage is not coerced, degrading, or harmful, other crucial elements of the marital relationship could be crying out against false normalcy: unconfessed sinfulness in other areas, unresolved conflict, distrust or disunity, and any number of other contributing factors could result in every symptom listed that characterize PCD in the study.

For that matter, PCD in cases where adults were abused as children seems to be a completely legitimate psychological challenge.  However, when it comes to unmarried couples -- even the happiest, most committed partnerships -- the legitimacy of PCD as a psychological condition becomes obscured by the fact that sin is at the root of those feelings of guilt and shame.  Why?  Because their lifestyle flies in the face of God's intended design for the most intimate human relationship.  Even the most exciting and mutually gratifying consensual sex is STILL SIN if it is done outside the confines of God's designated parameters.  For that reason, a PCD diagnosis rapidly becomes a quagmire of faulty justification for a culture that wants sex with no strings attached.  "Why do I feel bad after sex?  Well, it's just my condition -- certainly not because I'm doing something wrong.  That possibility doesn't fit my worldview."

While Calvin's plots were usually predictable -- and Susie proved again and again that girls are much smarter than boys -- the major downfall of the G.R.O.S.S. campaigns was Hobbes' non-commitment to the cause.  Unfortunately, the cult of post-truth thinking in our society is comprised of many more dedicated members than simply one hyperactive boy and one stuffed tiger.  Dismantling popular thinking is therefore a daunting task, but it is the mandate for Christians, given them by Jesus Himself:

[Jesus] said to them, “...you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.” (Acts 1.7-8)

Being Christ's witnesses requires a unified identity that sets us apart from the world -- not only bearing a different message of hope, but also living differently.  In other words, if we as Christians aren't practicing holiness in our relationships, how are we possibly being Christ's witnesses?  It's not very effective to proclaim hope, peace, and holiness if we ourselves are harboring guilt and shame from sexual sin ourselves.  

Christian, have you engaged in sinful sexual activity and found some way to justify it?  Have you made sinful relationship choices, realized they were wrong, but gone on without any repentance or change?  We can't expect gospel truth to really make a difference in people's lives if we ourselves have not been completely, radically changed by it.  So let us carefully evaluate our own hearts in these matters so that we may more effectively step out in faith to accomplish God's gospel incentives.

Ezekiel Joseph Carlton

I go through so many ups and downs when it comes to keeping a regular writing schedule.  Deadlines were my friend in college -- not because they would motivate me to work harder and sooner, but because I was a good enough student that I couldn't miss one.  I called myself a "pressure writer," because although I would start a paper as soon as it was assigned, and maybe touch on it here and there as the semester went on, I would -- in true procrastinator form -- invest heavily in the final days before the deadline to get the thing written.

"Because," I'd say, "that's when I do my best writing."

Truth or justification, I ended up graduating Magna Cum Laude with my bachelor's degree in 2012, but I've never fully gotten past that whole procrastination thing.

That's why, when my son missed his due date, I simply said that he, like all good Carlton men, was just taking his good old time.

Tara carried to her 41st week, a full seven days beyond our June 8th due date, and was induced on the 14th due to some sudden high blood pressure.  Our son was born on Friday, June 15th at 11:07 in the morning.  Ezekiel Joseph ("Zeke") came into the world crying, with good color, weighing 8 lbs, 1 oz, and stretching to 20.5 inches in length.  After two recovery days in the hospital, we were able to take him home on Father's Day, Mama and baby boy both healthy and feeling great.  Zeke regained (and surpassed) his birth weight by his 10-day checkup, is rapidly becoming a pro at sleeping most of the night, and is what I can only describe as the most chill baby I've ever met.  He prefers to sleep in the powerlifting stance, remains unperturbed by Kaylee's incessant barking at the neighbors, and -- unlike his father -- is incredibly punctual about his eating schedule.  He'll be three weeks old tomorrow, is already showing signs of smiling and laughing, and I'm trying really, really hard not to be THAT first-time social media dad.  Never in my life have I been so quick to pull out my phone to take pictures (#whatishappeningtome?).

I've been asked about the name choice, which we somehow managed to keep a secret from everyone until Zeke was born (though many tried to bully or trick us into revealing ahead of time).  Ezekiel means "God will strengthen."  Our son's biblical namesake is also called the Watchman of Israel, and while many of his Spirit-inspired words contain harsh, ugly truth, his message of judgment is tempered by the tenderness of God's unfathomable love for his people.  We pray that Zeke too will be a truth-teller, a man who won't refuse the messages, instructions, and tasks God sovereignly places on His life.

Joseph means "God will increase."  In the Bible, Joseph is a man who experienced intense betrayal at the hands of his family, but also knew the steadfast love of the Lord, who intended good even in the evil Joseph experienced.  Tara and I desire for our Ezekiel Joseph to know firsthand God's steadfast love and kindness, and to respond to every circumstance of his life with the knowledge that God is faithful, and has his best interests at heart.

In other words, his names are lessons and reminders.

God will strengthen you, Zeke.  Remember that.  Contrary to popular belief, He WILL give you more than you can handle -- so that you can learn to trust His strength above your own.  The Scriptures resound with God's good, invigorating promises to His children.  His Word and power do not fail.

Remember: God will only increase His goodness to you, Zeke.  Again, contrary to popular belief, that won't mean you'll experience the rags-to-riches-American-dream kind of increase, or that you will live your "best life" now.  But it will mean that God will give you more of Himself, lavishing grace upon grace on your life, and will continually prove Himself to be faithful.

Tara and I waited on the Lord for our first child, and in His good timing, He granted our request.  We are so blessed to be parents that we can't stop thanking Him for the gift of little Zeke.  To all those who were praying along with us, THANK YOU as well -- your prayers have been effective, and we've undeniably felt them at work.

Suffice it to say that God has both strengthened us and increased His goodness in our lives.

While procrastinating to write for a blog or to sketch out the next chapter in a novel is one thing, procrastinating to begin teaching my son is something else entirely.  There truly is no time like the present.  Lord willing, I'll start kicking my deadline habit once and for all -- if only to invest in my boy today.  And tomorrow.  And every day thereafter.

2017-2018 Philadelphia Eagles, Super Bowl LII Champions: "In all that he does, he prospers"

Bob Dylan's classic song, "With God on Our Side," resounds with cynicism.  It's an anthem against religious justification for acts of violence, racial subjection, and blind obedience that supersedes rational thought and conscience.  It exposes a sentiment that can be ultra-personal ("God won't judge me for this tiny infraction"), denominational ("Anabaptists deserve execution"), cultural ("God has called us to subject and educate the Native Americans"), or national ("The United States is the Promised Land").  Some of it takes the self-righteous positive stance, and some of it takes the damning negative stance against the other.  People often speak of God as a celestial cheerleader who lends support to a cause or grants divine favor to a particular group or movement.

More accurate is the position of Romans 3.10: "As it is written: 'None is righteous, no, not one.'"  Therefore, God's "position" is much more akin to the sentiment Treebeard expresses to the Hobbits in The Two Towers: “Side?  I am on nobody's side, because nobody is on my side, little orc.”

All that said, as a battered but hopeful Eagles fan, who has been soaking in all the hype leading up to and surrounding this phenomenal Super Bowl LII victory, the season has been a fascinating insight into what God does when people seek to worship Him in their personal lives.

It would, of course, be poor theology to suggest that God is an Eagles fan (despite jasper stones around the heavenly throne, just sayin'), and just as ridiculous to impose that God's attentions are riveted to our modern-day gladiator competitions.  But at the forefront of the 2017-2018 Eagles team are three incredible leaders (Pederson, Wentz, and Foles), surrounded by a united body of brothers in Christ, who have collectively gone out of their way to proclaim their love for and devotion to our Heavenly Father, giving Him the glory for their skills and their victories.  That is something absolutely extraordinary -- not just within the NFL, but in all pro sports.

It's one thing to have the stereotypical "I thank God and my family" media soundbites from your super-star.  It's a rare but great thing to have a single, sold-out believer on your team who radically speaks to the media about his or her faith.  But it's another thing entirely when you have a core group of player and coaches who -- in every single interview with the media -- unanimously credit Jesus Christ not only with gifting them with talents, but also with changing their lives and motivating them to humility, self-sacrifice, and servanthood.  The Eagles are on a whole other level with this.  The testimonies of Pederson, Wentz, and Foles have all received attention simply because they're the ones most often confronted with microphones, but there are so many others -- among them, Stefen Wisniewski, Jordan Hicks, Trey Burton, Chris Maragos, Torrey Smith, Marcus Johnson, Zach Ertz, and others.  This is a team where players like Chris Long not only donate their paychecks to charity, but also do short-term missions work (Carson Wentz, Torrey Smith), and aspire to become pastors post-NFL (Nick Foles).  This is a team where players not only attend team chapel (out of devotion rather than obligation), but also preach at team chapel.  These are teammates who have held baptisms in their locker room, who have taken every opportunity after games to pray on the field with members of the opposing team, and who deflect media ego-stroking with humble recognition of God's sovereignty.

And there's plenty to brag about, of course.  Their athleticism, team play, and individual stats -- setting franchise and league records -- all speak for themselves.  In fact, if the Eagles were just a bunch of decent players surrounding a star quarterback, there is no way their season could have continued after Wentz's injury, much less secured a Super Bowl victory.  Instead, they fought on, adapted, and continued to play their absolute best, having some incredible fun in the process, and proving that they truly had greatness.  In the process of losing key players left and right all season long yet going on to defeat the greatest team in recent NFL history, there have been plenty of opportunities for self-pity and arrogance alike, but so many players' testimonies of faith -- though tested by fire -- have all proven strong.

The implication of this is certainly not that God is an Eagles fan or that He's "on our side" simply because Eagles players repped Him in postgame interviews.  But it is certainly a biblical principle that God blesses the work of the faithful.  Psalm 1.1-3 attests to this: "Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night.  He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers."  The beauty of this principle is that, in terms of God's kingdom, such prospering is both micro- and macroscopic.  It works like this: God shows Himself to be faithful by honoring the work of a righteous man's hands (i.e. career choices, ministry involvement, and even skill development).  As God shows Himself to be faithful, the righteous man gives God glory and worship and praise, not mistaking the tangible blessing as his ultimate reward, but as a small display of God's unfathomable grace.  As he does so, others see and testify, and they too give God glory and worship and praise.  And so the cycle continues.  It's not about God blessing the temporal things we do on this earth, it's also about Him blessing our eternal investments into His Kingdom, which isn't primarily about the big stuff -- missions trips, social work, etc -- but about our every-day, Romans 12:1-2 worship.  Don't make the mistake of seeing this as the absolute nonsense of prosperity doctrine: God does NOT always make us wealthy and healthy just because we're obedient or have strong faith.  He does, however, honor the righteous who aren't looking for an immediate reward, but who do their very best to worship God in everything, whatever the consequence, and keep their eyes on the REAL reward of eternity with Christ.

Nowhere is that principle more clearly illustrated than in our franchise quarterback.  Since Carson's injury in Week 14 against LA, I've been telling friends and family that he has an even greater testimony to give from the sidelines than he does from the pocket.  For a man whose love for Christ and joy in everything he does are so obvious to go out with a season-ending injury, but still maintain his demeanor and remain committed to being a coach, leader, and teammate from the sidelines -- and to rejoice with his backup as he assumes leadership and brings the team to a championship...  This is a much more powerful statement to who Carson Wentz is as a follower of Christ, and how awesome is the God we serve!  Interestingly enough, that's exactly the biblical model of discipleship: one leading and instructing while another watches and learns, then humbly stepping aside to allow the other to take the helm and become the leader.  Sometimes circumstances demand that the transition happens sooner than expected, and the real test of a man's maturity is in how he responds when things don't go the way he planned.

Dylan was right to criticize sins justified by religion and race.  The only one who can justify is God, and He didn't sweep our sins under the rug and pretend like they didn't happen.  Instead, He came in the form of a man to pay for all of our misdeeds, and to graciously give us His own righteousness instead of the eternal death we deserved.  The beauty of entering into new spiritual life with Christ is that He engages with us as we, by His Spirit, align ourselves to Him -- to be on HIS side.  He blesses the work of our hands for His glory and for our good.

I believe that's what we witnessed with this Eagles team all season long: God's blessing for honest and visible faith on the field.  While that doesn't guarantee a Philadelphia dynasty or even a repeat Superbowl run for 2018-2019, it does mean that God has always honored and will honor humble, righteous men for their love, devotion, and service to Him -- either in this world or in Heaven to come.

Spirit-Mindedness and a New Year

For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.

- Romans 8.5-6

It's easy to blame a lack of peace on our circumstances.  If only I wasn't up against this issue, if only I didn't have to do that thing, if only I wasn't so (fill in the blank).  We tend to deflect responsibility onto the things that are outside of our control rather than acknowledging the things that are inside our sphere of influence, because it's easier on our pride to be an innocent victim than it is to be guilty.

A big reason we struggle with ingratitude and anxiety throughout the year, and then feel communally guilty around the holiday season about not being more consistently thankful, is that we tend to set our minds on things of the flesh.  We allow ourselves to buy into the frenetic pace of life and wonder why the chaos has crept from our color-coded, spreadsheet calendars into our hearts.

"If only I weren't so busy!"  "If only I didn't have to get all of that stuff done!"

Poignantly, after encouraging believers to "set their minds on the things of the Spirit," Paul goes on in Romans 8 to say that minds set on the flesh instead are actually openly hostile toward God, because they submit only to their own laws and desires, not to His.  Ultimately, in this idolatrous and distracted state of mind, we render ourselves incapable of pleasing Him.

The Greek word translated as "set their minds" is "phroneo," which means to possess a consistent attitude or a certain view.  Therefore, if I'm "setting my mind" on the Spirit, it's something characteristic and ongoing, not an on-again/off-again thing.  Note that we can do this either with the Spirit, or with the flesh, which means one way or the other is my consistent attitude or certain view.

Setting my mind on the flesh isn't merely a distracted thought life, it's a distraught thought life, and Paul warns that this practice is akin to spiritual death.  That's a big deal, because we as Christians have been bought and justified through the blood of Jesus Christ and deemed eternally righteous before God the Father on the account of the Son.  It's therefore a HUGE problem for us to go back to old ways of thinking, to characteristic types of feeling and operating we did while we were still spiritually dead, because that's no longer who we are.

Do you, like me, sometimes lack peace of mind?  Do you, like me, sometimes focus more on the negative circumstances and heavy demands of life on earth rather than orienting your heart on the character of God and His calling for your life?  Do you, like me, wrestle with a spirit of ingratitude?  If so, then here are three steps we both can take toward Spirit-mindedness in this new year.

1. Maintain a proper focus: I can't control my circumstances, but I can control my attitude.

I might not always like what comes my way, but I can control the ways in which I speak of my circumstances, how much and in what manner I dwell on them, and altogether be proactive to manage my time and resources well.  The struggle to maintain a spirit of gratitude is greatly augmented by a proper focus: God is good, He has blessed me abundantly through His Son, and He has a plan that I might not yet comprehend.  To set my mind on the things of the Spirit is to focus not on how difficult things are, but to choose to see God's hand in everything and trust Him with the outcome.

2. Maintain a proper thought life: I should be sober-minded, not absent-minded.

Eastern meditation practices are all about emptying the mind in order to find inner peace.  This is where Biblical principles of meditation part ways with Zen culture: our goal as Christians is not to be absent-minded and thereby open ourselves to temptation and forgetfulness, or to relinquish control of our often sinful imaginations, but to do the exact opposite.  1 Peter 5.8 warns Christians to be vigilant and sober-minded because the battle to maintain Spirit-mindedness requires us to be cognizant,  level-headed, and in control of our faculties as we face all manner of choices and temptations.  If I don't strive to control my thoughts and my feelings, I will inevitably drift into self-centered patterns of thinking, giving myself over to a complaining spirit and any anxieties that might come my way.  That's neither a recipe for knowing God's peace, nor is it even remotely what righteous living should look like.

3. Maintain proper self-discipline: Prayer and the Word must be priorities.

Lastly, it is virtually impossible for me to truly be Spirit-minded, knowing peace and gratitude, if my personal fellowship with God isn't truly a priority.  In the same way that I can't maintain a healthy relationship with my wife if we spend all of our time together in front of the TV or focusing on our hobbies, I also can't have intimacy with God if I allow my schedule and my concerns to take precedence over my regular, focused prayer life and study time in His Word.  These disciplines are just that -- practices that require time, work, and attentiveness -- but they are instrumental in maintaining Spirit-mindedness and orienting us away from our human tendency to focus only on the things of this world.

Each of these principles is but one step.  If you think of them like stepping stones crossing a river, you know that it will take more than just three to make it safely to dry land: you must repeat those steps.  Again.  And again.  A new year might represent a fresh calendar start, but all of those cares and concerns you had before the holidays began are already audaciously un-pausing themselves and leaping back into view, I'm sure.  Maintaining Spirit-mindedness across each proverbial river is to take careful steps, navigating the inevitable circumstances of life with renewed focus, thought life, and self-discipline.  Don't make the mistake of seeing yourself as a victim, no matter what's in your past: instead, proactively take responsibility to respond well to stress and challenge, no matter how unfair, by leaning into the grace and wisdom of God, both of which are readily available to us as we make each crossing.