Ezekiel Joseph Carlton

I go through so many ups and downs when it comes to keeping a regular writing schedule.  Deadlines were my friend in college -- not because they would motivate me to work harder and sooner, but because I was a good enough student that I couldn't miss one.  I called myself a "pressure writer," because although I would start a paper as soon as it was assigned, and maybe touch on it here and there as the semester went on, I would -- in true procrastinator form -- invest heavily in the final days before the deadline to get the thing written.

"Because," I'd say, "that's when I do my best writing."

Truth or justification, I ended up graduating Magna Cum Laude with my bachelor's degree in 2012, but I've never fully gotten past that whole procrastination thing.

That's why, when my son missed his due date, I simply said that he, like all good Carlton men, was just taking his good old time.

Tara carried to her 41st week, a full seven days beyond our June 8th due date, and was induced on the 14th due to some sudden high blood pressure.  Our son was born on Friday, June 15th at 11:07 in the morning.  Ezekiel Joseph ("Zeke") came into the world crying, with good color, weighing 8 lbs, 1 oz, and stretching to 20.5 inches in length.  After two recovery days in the hospital, we were able to take him home on Father's Day, Mama and baby boy both healthy and feeling great.  Zeke regained (and surpassed) his birth weight by his 10-day checkup, is rapidly becoming a pro at sleeping most of the night, and is what I can only describe as the most chill baby I've ever met.  He prefers to sleep in the powerlifting stance, remains unperturbed by Kaylee's incessant barking at the neighbors, and -- unlike his father -- is incredibly punctual about his eating schedule.  He'll be three weeks old tomorrow, is already showing signs of smiling and laughing, and I'm trying really, really hard not to be THAT first-time social media dad.  Never in my life have I been so quick to pull out my phone to take pictures (#whatishappeningtome?).

I've been asked about the name choice, which we somehow managed to keep a secret from everyone until Zeke was born (though many tried to bully or trick us into revealing ahead of time).  Ezekiel means "God will strengthen."  Our son's biblical namesake is also called the Watchman of Israel, and while many of his Spirit-inspired words contain harsh, ugly truth, his message of judgment is tempered by the tenderness of God's unfathomable love for his people.  We pray that Zeke too will be a truth-teller, a man who won't refuse the messages, instructions, and tasks God sovereignly places on His life.

Joseph means "God will increase."  In the Bible, Joseph is a man who experienced intense betrayal at the hands of his family, but also knew the steadfast love of the Lord, who intended good even in the evil Joseph experienced.  Tara and I desire for our Ezekiel Joseph to know firsthand God's steadfast love and kindness, and to respond to every circumstance of his life with the knowledge that God is faithful, and has his best interests at heart.

In other words, his names are lessons and reminders.

God will strengthen you, Zeke.  Remember that.  Contrary to popular belief, He WILL give you more than you can handle -- so that you can learn to trust His strength above your own.  The Scriptures resound with God's good, invigorating promises to His children.  His Word and power do not fail.

Remember: God will only increase His goodness to you, Zeke.  Again, contrary to popular belief, that won't mean you'll experience the rags-to-riches-American-dream kind of increase, or that you will live your "best life" now.  But it will mean that God will give you more of Himself, lavishing grace upon grace on your life, and will continually prove Himself to be faithful.

Tara and I waited on the Lord for our first child, and in His good timing, He granted our request.  We are so blessed to be parents that we can't stop thanking Him for the gift of little Zeke.  To all those who were praying along with us, THANK YOU as well -- your prayers have been effective, and we've undeniably felt them at work.

Suffice it to say that God has both strengthened us and increased His goodness in our lives.

While procrastinating to write for a blog or to sketch out the next chapter in a novel is one thing, procrastinating to begin teaching my son is something else entirely.  There truly is no time like the present.  Lord willing, I'll start kicking my deadline habit once and for all -- if only to invest in my boy today.  And tomorrow.  And every day thereafter.

Evaluating the health of your ministry

Oh that there were one among you who would shut the doors, that you might not kindle fire on my altar in vain! I have no pleasure in you, says the Lord of hosts, and I will not accept an offering from your hand. (Malachi 1.10)

Post-exile and pre-Messiah, the prophet Malachi addressed these words to a religious but ultimately self-interested group of Israelites: the priests, the nation's spiritual leaders, who diluted the purity of Hebrew worship by offering blemished animals as sacrifices to the LORD rather than the perfect stock He required.  More importantly, however, their hearts had no connection to the ceremonies they performed, which propped open the door for apathy and sinful practice to enter unregarded.

The church, of course, ministers within a different context, but we too would do well to heed the advice given in this text concerning the authenticity and efficacy of our ministries.  If the Levitical Priesthood could grow so spiritually cold in their routine to earn such a harsh rebuke, chances are we can unfortunately do and earn the same. Briefly, here's three quick ideas I take from the text, applicable to pastors, ministry leaders and deacons, or lay staff.

"Shut the doors."  Whether you're the leader of your ministry or a volunteer, participants in the work of the Holy Spirit must know how to critically self-evaluate, both on a personal as well as on a corporate level.  The ministries we lead and/or serve stagnate without careful and regular evaluation of their effectiveness, both in terms of their horizontal reach and also their vertical priority of glorifying God.  To "shut the doors" doesn't mean to kill a struggling ministry, but rather to put it on pause or probation in order to practice repentance and perhaps even take the program back to the drawing board.  Such is better than to allow an ineffective and possibly detrimental facet of your church family or nonprofit organization to further stagnate.  Sometimes we have to pump the brakes a bit before we can accelerate to see growth.

If -- as was the case of the Priesthood in Malachi's Israel -- rampant sin is festering in the ranks, then it's especially time to perhaps literally close the doors and humbly sort out the persisting issues between or within personnel.  Should we fail to do so, we risk not only an impotent ministry with a limited lifespan, but also the inevitable revelation by fire of a foundation loaded up with wood, hay, and straw (1 Cor 3.12-13).

"Kindle acceptable fire."  Early in the nation of Israel's history, Aaron's sons were executed by God Himself for kindling "strange" or "unauthorized" fire (Leviticus 10), which is likely the reference point for Malachi's choice words to the Priesthood centuries later.  While it is difficult to grasp exactly what Nadab and Abihu did to incite the Lord's wrath, their actions arrogantly and probably intentionally violated the standards God had given to Moses for acceptable forms of worship within the tabernacle.

You and I must constantly ask ourselves whether we are humbly seeking to serve the Lord on HIS terms, or arrogantly insisting on our own.  Often, we become far more concerned with being pragmatic, with evaluating the success of our ministries by the numbers they boast, or by how good the feedback is that we receive.  I know how easy it is to pat myself on the back on the days my teens come to me after a lesson with questions or with thanks, and how easily frustrated I can become when the opposite is the case: criticism of the way I phrased something, misapplication of the point I was trying to make, or perhaps just indifferent silence.

"Acceptable fire" is what God commands.  "Acceptable fire" is simply our duty as followers of Christ and ministers of His Kingdom.  What might seem an ambiguous instruction is actually systematically identified across the scope of Scripture.  Micah insisted on the Lord's priorities of mercy, justice, and humility (6.8); Jesus summarized acceptable worship as that which is done in spirit (wholeheartedness) and in truth (Scriptural accuracy) (John 4.23); and James distilled true religion to careful self-control and attentive ministery to those in need (Jas 1.27).  The penultimate breakdown, of course, is the total worship of God and resulting servant-heartedness toward others (Mark 12.30-31).  Threfore, in order to kindle "acceptable fire" to the Lord, my priority as a pastor or ministry leader must first be the worship of God in my personal life, and -- second -- the edification and discipleship of those whom the ministry is intended to serve.  Of course, that will look different for each ministry, which each has its own unique reach and function, but the supreme values of God's glorification and one-anothering must be central.  Anything else is akin to unacceptable fire.

A few good evaluating questions on this point:

• Do I have a personal agenda, or am I doing the work of God?  Which am I actually accomplishing?
• Am I driven by the praise and opinions of others, or by the parameters of Scripture?
• What do I consider to be "success" in this ministry?
• How am I pursuing long-term goals rather than simple maintenance?
• Who benefits from this ministry -- me, or the people it is intended to serve?

Take pleasure in Him.  At the core of Malachi's indictment is that the priests have allowed themselves to descend into careless routine, with hearts that take no delight in worship.  In order for God to say, "I have no pleasure in you," we must have first reached the point where we have no invested interest in pleasing Him.  So the question is, what kind of attitude do I bring to my ministerial responsibilities?  What kinds of compromises -- for the sake of ease, time, reputation, or otherwise -- am I willing to make that could damage the ministry's integrity?  How has the freshness of the gospel, with its uniquely renewed mercies, impacted my heart for the Kingdom work that I'm doing?  Regardless of circumstances and difficult people, you and I will never lack for love of doing ministry if we never lack for love and adoration of God Himself.

On one hand, we cannot effectively minister if the work is a drag.  On the other, we cannot effectively minister if we get pumped for programming but fail to engage our hearts in personal relationship with Jesus.  If the former is true, our frustrations and weariness will inevitably and negatively impact what we are trying to accomplish.  If the latter is true, our "ministry" is only going to spin its wheels on the road to spiritual maturity, because the kind of fellowship and growth you espouse will lack the genuine worship component of true relationship with the Savior.  Either frame of mind is a failure to delight in the Lord and the work He has laid out for you to do.

Instead, "shut the doors" -- pause and invest in your own walk with Jesus.  Offer "acceptable fire" by "taking pleasure in Him," and then see what He is able to accomplish through your willing hands.