Forward-Thinking Spirituality

The blood drained from Saul's face so quickly he felt lightheaded.  Behind him, he could still hear the confused murmur of the crowds and his soldiers, although it suddenly seemed to be at a distance.

The victory parade had come to an unscheduled halt in the streets of Gilgal when Samuel had appeared out of the crowd, dressed like a beggar in his threadbare traveling cloak, but immediately recognizable as the Man of God.  Upon seeing the old prophet, an immediate sense of worry had begun clawing at Saul's guts.  Even though he knew he'd done nothing wrong, something told him that Samuel had come to rebuke him once again.  Harbinger of doom, that one.  Their relationship had been rocky at best since the sacrifice Saul had made on this very location at the darkest point of the war with the Philistines.  Admittedly, he'd acted hastily on that occasion, and he fully acknowledged that, but he still felt that the decision had been necessary and that Samuel had been too harsh.  The old man often took the Lord's word too seriously - too literally.

The conversation did not begin well.  Samuel seemed to think that Saul had not fulfilled the commandment that the Lord had given - to completely destroy the Amalekites and all their possessions.  Saul knew that he was working a loophole as far as the cattle were concerned, but he couldn't believe that God and Samuel both couldn't overlook such a little detail when the overall objective had been accomplished.  Enough slaughter had been done for one day.  Even he, Saul - a man of battle and carnage - thought so.  The Amalekites were beaten and their king was now Israel's prisoner of war.

And then, Samuel delivered the message he'd brought from the Lord, and the bottom fell out of Saul's stomach.

"W-what?" he stammered, searching Samuel's eyes for some sign of compassion, but the old prophet's face remained bowstring taught - full of anger, full of remorse.

"Because you have rejected the word of the Lord," Samuel said slowly, "he has also rejected you from being king."

The pronouncement felt like judgment.

Saul knew that his mouth was hanging open.  He felt the fury growing in the pit of his stomach - the fury of disbelief, the fury of acute unfairness.  Hadn't he done what was asked of him?  He'd sacrificed the lives of his own soldiers to defeat the enemies of Israel, but that wasn't enough?  The Lord's commands were impossible, then!

At the same time as he burned with rage, Saul began to feel the chill of dread sinking into his belly.  He has also rejected you from being king, Samuel had said.  What exactly did that mean?

"I - I have sinned," Saul said haltingly.  Was that what Samuel wanted?  A confession?  God forgave sins, right?  Maybe there was a way to rectify the situation.  "I have transgressed the Lord's command.  I gave the people what they wanted - hard-earned spoils for themselves and... and cattle for sacrifices!"

If Saul had hoped that last detail would ease the tension, he was sadly mistaken.  Something in Samuel's dark eyes seemed to break, like the snap of a twig that gives the hunter away.  It was like confirmation.  He said nothing.

Saul continued, more desperately this time.  "Please, Samuel - please pardon my sin and come with me to offer a sacrifice so that I can worship the Lord."

"I will not."  The old man's face crinkled with what could only be grief.  "You have rejected the Lord, Saul.  So the Lord has rejected you."

Without another word, the prophet turned to go.

The boiling rage made Saul act without thought.  Before he realized it, he had lunged at the old man and seized him by the cloak.

"Don't turn your back on me!" he roared.  "I am still the anointed king!"

Samuel responded, whirling back to face him.  As he turned, the fabric in Saul's grasp tore violently, travel-worn as the robe was from Samuel's repeated journeys from Mizpah to Gilgal.  The sight of the torn material halted Saul in his tracks.  In that moment, despite the untold horrors of war he'd witnessed, the frayed edges of the Samuel's robe were suddenly the most grotesque and terrifying sight he'd ever seen - the lips of a gaping wound, the worst he'd ever inflicted.

"The Lord has torn the kingdom of Israel from you!" Samuel shouted, brandishing the torn edges of his robe at the disgraced king.  His voice was harsh and unsteady with emotion - fury or grief or both, Saul couldn't tell.  "He has given it instead to someone more worthy, Saul.  The Lord of Israel does not lie or have regrets, for He is not a man."

He left the statement ragged, as though implying the very words that Saul formed in his own mind: You, on the other hand....

~*~

Samuel's robe tears in Saul's grasp, foreshadowing the inevitable result of his disobedience

Saul's unfortunate story is representative of generations of people who have tried to follow God's command without fully giving their hearts to Him.  These individuals go through the religious motions, filling their agendas with ministry and obedience to God's commands at their own convenience, missing all along the fact that the Lord delights in the condition of their hearts over the quantity of their sacrifices (1 Sam 15.22).  However, God has always raised up leaders who have understood Him and His grace in a way the rest of their contemporaries have not.

The fact that the Lord desires worshipers who rend their hearts in sincerity, not their clothes in bathetic display (Joel 2.13), was undeniably harder to understand through the restrictions of the Mosaic law than through the gospels.  The law, after all, was designed to illustrate the impossibility of holiness, because sin makes it impossible to please God.  However, the point behind the whole process was to show the Israelites their need for God and to teach them dependence upon Him.  Yet while the rest of the nation was caught up in the methodology of sacrifice and ritual, of keeping every command down to the letter, there remained forward-thinking men and women who were able to understand so clearly this message of grace which God had offered from the very beginning.

These were the ones who earned their places in the Hall of Faith for the purity of their worship and their desire to please God above all else.  These were the men and women who were content to live in tents during their sojourn in this world, and to "die in faith," as Hebrews 11.13 puts it, "not having received the things promised, but having seen them and greeted them from afar, having acknowledged that they were strangers and exiles on the earth."  These were individuals who saw what God truly promised - beyond the promised land of Israel, beyond the promise of Zion's protection, beyond the promised generations to come.  Moses chose to be "mistreated with the people of God [rather] than to enjoy the fleeting pleasures of sin.  He considered the reproach of Christ greater wealth than the treasures of Egypt, for he was looking to the reward" (Heb 11.25).  Abraham was promised a nation as his descendants, and a matchless land as their inheritance, and he lived to see neither promise realized.  Even Rahab, a prostitute in a Canaanite nation, saw what wondrous works the God of Israel was doing, and her heart was drawn to him, awakening within her a faith that would save not only her life but also those of her family.  All of these individuals lived by faith regardless of their circumstances, and regardless of the consequences, because faith recognizes the possibility of unmet desires while relying on the unfailing promise of God's faithfulness.

And then there were men and women like Saul.

These are the men and women who have lived by their own religious standards, with the mentality that they are owed something for their faithful service and who are offended when they receive none.  These are the individuals who redefine faith depending on convenience, their generation, and their own terms.  They forget that it is impossible to please God without biblical faith and instead rely upon something more certain to them - their own morality, logic, and opinions.  The real issue is that their hearts, like Saul's, are far from God, even though their actions may correspond to the commands of Scripture - even though they may daily study the Word of God with a magnifying glass.  These are the individuals who can justify any action, who fail to be grieved by their own sin, who instead see themselves in the light of personal validation.  They don't exercise faith.  In fact, they don't even think much about the future at all, because they are absorbed in the now - in their current struggles, their current situations, their current possessions.

Saul was a people-pleaser.  He was wrapped up in his own self-worth.  He was jealous, impetuous, and angry.  He had no faith in God - in His timing, in His deliverance, in His commands.  Of course, he claimed to acknowledge all of these things, yet chose to interpret them according to his own standards.

Whom are we more like?

We who live in the modern era have the wonderful privilege of the completed Scriptures to enlighten our thinking.  We have the luxury of understanding grace through the manifested Christ.  It should be, I daresay, easier for us as believers today, because - as the apostle Peter asserted - we have something "more fully confirmed" in which to place our faith: the Word of God revealed.  But are we forward-thinking in our day, the way Moses and Abraham and David were in theirs?  Are we content with what we have, or are we insatiably greedy for more of God, ever looking forward to the time in which we will cross Jordan's stormy banks and rest in our Father's bosom?  Do we live to die in faith, recognizing that we still only live in tents - that our home is still on the other side, and that we might not see our hopes and dreams fulfilled in this life?

We should maintain the patriarchs' forward-thinking spirituality and live in joyful anticipation of our Savior's return.  We should be "ahead of our time" the way they were, giving our hearts fully to God in order to give Him the type of sacrifice He truly desires.

Micah 6.8: "He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?"

Love Isn't Hard! ...When They Love You in Return

The question I've been asked since Tara and I got married is the one I suppose all newly weds inevitably hear for the first year of marriage: “So how's married life?” My perpetual reply is, “Wonderful – nothing but blessings,” a genuine statement which nevertheless seems to always prompt a snort of laughter at my obvious naivety, accompanied by some variation of “Wait ten years and then I'll ask you again.”

There's a sobering level of dissatisfaction in marriages today, within and without the church, a perspective that is influenced both by culture and by disappointed expectations. People approach marriage the way they approach a carnival: it's fun, it's exciting, it's flashy, but eventually you're going to get tired of riding the ferris wheel. They aren't really in it for the long haul, though they may claim to be initially, because they expect love – when it's “right” – to be spontaneous, carefree, easy. If it's “right,” then it shouldn't be a chore.

...right?

Undoubtedly, it isn't difficult to love someone who visibly appreciates and reciprocates your efforts. That mutuality is what makes Hollywood romance so magical: the perfectly spoken word at the perfect moment; that instant where the eyes lock, so clearly communicating everything the lips do not; the gentle caresses which dilate the pupils and steal the breath of both the lovers and the audience – all of which is the result of a mutual attraction which has been boiling just below the surface. We all know this isn't real, yet we all buy into the ideal. We all want our relationships to be like that. We anticipate struggles ahead when we say our vows, but we also subconsciously expect that the magic touch will get us out of arguments, that abruptly kissing our spouse in the middle of an argument will make it all okay (trust me, it doesn't). When hardships roll around, we may not be surprised or even initially frustrated, but our desire to continue loving slackens when problems linger.

Love isn't defined as conditional in the Scriptures. Circumstances do not (or should not) affect it. As Paul writes, perfect love “hopes all things, endures all things,” and ultimately “never ends” – never fails or concludes (1 Cor 13.7, 8). Packaged in these words is a sense of survival: we don't have to endure when things are easy. The real challenge is sacrificing for someone who might, instead of expressing gratitude for your care, retaliate with anger, spite, or arrogance. As Christ reasoned with the multitudes, “If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them” (Luke 6.32). In other words, loving someone who will love in return is no measure of your ability to love unconditionally. At the point where affection or service is reciprocated, a sacrifice becomes more of a privilege than a challenge. The true test of our love for others comes when we are faced with the option to “love our enemies and do good,” and to “lend without expecting to be repaid” (Luke 6.35).

Loving the unlovable is not an option of Christianity. The stamp of God's moral character upon His children, His holiness within us, is that we will glorify Him by loving others unconditionally, being merciful as our Father is merciful (Luke 6.36). We exhibit His attributes through our love of one another, an action which is an expression of worship. This includes loving our enemies, the ones who mistreat us and abuse our intentions. Sadly, this description also fits our spouses.

When someone fails to love us, even our spouses, responding in anger is never justified. Regardless of whether or not we know our attempt at humility will not be accepted, we must respond to his or her sin in love. However, loving the individual in spite of his or her sinfulness doesn't mean simply faking a smile and saying, “It's okay.” It does mean that the avenue for honest communication and extension of forgiveness is wide open. Marriage relationships are built upon communication, honesty, and friendship. Loving others requires us to do hard things, to challenge one another, and never allow our spouse to continue in sin just because we don't want to open that can of worms. This is the way marriage remains beautiful. As Timothy Keller says in The Meaning of Marriage, “You may not feel tender, sympathetic and eager to please, but in your actions you must be tender, understanding, forgiving, and helpful. And if you do that, as time goes on you will not only get through the dry spells, but they will become less frequent and deep, and you will become more constant in your feelings. This is what can happen if you decide to love.”

As children of God, our response to anger, sadness, sarcasm, and even indifference should always be love. This requires us to decide to love as Keller says, because love is not our default response. In our flesh, we want to respond in a like manner when we are wronged. According to culture, history, and Hollywood, that is only justice. But that's the natural response. The supernatural response, on the other hand, is to love, to turn the other cheek, and offer our coat to the thief when he has already taken our shirt (Matt 5.38-40). In marriage, this looks like forgiveness for the same sin committed against us once again, giving preference even when we know it won't be appreciated, maintaining patience and grace in communication. Though we battle with our own flesh, the power of Christ enables us to respond in love even in the face of harsh words. Perseverance and sacrificial, unconditional love are the components which can melt the hardened heart of the spouse, but it will not happen overnight.

Disillusionment with marriage is the result of selfish expectations. Stubbornness and selfishness are debilitating diseases which go hand-in-hand, and are especially deadly because they often go unnoticed by the one who has contracted them. The one who suffers as a result, because he or she does notice them and their effects, is the spouse. Therefore, it is the responsibility of the husband and the wife to address issues of sin in each other, not taking offense and withdrawing when their attempts at love are rejected (because confronting is absolutely an act of love), but seeking to draw out the sin which is hardening the heart of his or her spouse. Tim Keller writes, “What keeps the marriage going [during hard times] is your commitment to your spouse's holiness. You're committed to his or her beauty. You're committed to his greatness and perfection. You're committed to her honesty and passion for the things of God. That's your job as a spouse. Any lesser goal than that, any smaller purpose, and you're just playing at being married.”

Commitment to beauty and holiness is not easy, and it will not always be fun. It will require work, and it will involve tears, but mutual perseverance will guarantee joy. Playing at marriage looks like, “I love you the way you are and I don't want you to change.” Walking in love however, looks like, “I love you the way you are, and because of that, I want to help you change.” Spouses who challenge one another in this way, so that they can be more like Christ together, practice the unconditional love Paul describes in 1 Corinthians. Marriage is certainly not a carnival. We cannot enter into such a covenant-based relationship expecting joy without sorrow. In fact, more so than any other human relationship, marriage will challenge, stretch, and tire us, and it is intended to, because the purpose which God ordained in married is aiding one another to be more like Jesus. If you are disappointed because married life does not meet your expectations, it's a good indicator that you entered for the wrong reasons.

Marriage is never about getting – it's always about giving, whether it's hard or not.

In sum, our ability to love the way Christ loves us is truly measured not by how strongly we love the ones who show us love in return, but by how we love our enemies and the ones who have wronged us. We know this type of love firsthand, because it was while we were enemies of God that Christ laid down His life for us (Rom 5.10). Because we have received such immeasurable grace from God, how can we justify failing to love the individuals in our lives simply because they don't always show us the love we expect? John records, “But if anyone has the world's goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God's love abide in him? Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth” (1 John 3.17, 18). Are we meeting each other's needs (in marriage or otherwise), or are we simply looking out for our own well-being? Deed and truth go hand-in-hand, and we cannot claim the love of the Father if our ability to love the unlovely does not imitate His.

I think the next time someone asks me about my married life, I'm going to respond by asking him or her the same question.