State of the Union... (Or a series of overdue updates)

Hi, there!  In case we haven't been previously acquainted, my name is Justin and I am a sometimes writer whose creative juices ebb and flow, sometimes to the point where a certain blog languishes for more than two years without any updates.  Major life events worth writing about sail by... and no posts.  Suffice it to say that, for the last 24 months, life has been very full, and while I've had time now and again to sit down and do some intentional reflecting, my energy expenditures and resting rhythms are just different now than they were when I began Häxprocess back in 2011.  Hopefully that's more reason than excuse, but either way I've lapsed and I'd like to get back to sharing more regular updates and ponderings.

If you're still here reading this, then you must be interested!  I'll start with the most recent talking points and work backward.

Music.  My last updates to Häxprocess were dedicated to The Twenty Committee's recording project.  That band (not actually defunct!) finally, officially, enthusiastically released our sophomore album, The Cycle Undone, on December 13th.  57 minutes and 8 tracks long, it's stylistically a blend of Gentle Giant, Steven Wilson, and Stephen Sondheim... if they collaborated with Isaac Asimov to write a space opera about robots. In brief, this piece of music is the result of a decade-long writing and recording project that happened in starts and fits.  Two of the songs on this record were written within a year of our debut release A Lifeblood Psalm.  Those were gigged as early as 2014 or 2015, and another finished tune, "Embers," became a staple of our setlists for shows in 2017-18.  The rest were all composed, arranged, and re-arranged in Jeff Bishop's basement during a long season (including the pandemic) where we had stopped playing out to focus on completing the material for a second album.  Cycle's thematic concept explores notions of human progress and hubris with regard to technological advancement, and questions the appropriate tensions between aesthetic and efficiency, common sense and individual revelation, and the dangers and benefits of dependence upon AI (something we didn't necessarily start writing about back in 2014, but which became prevalent in the last few years as we were wrapping up the recording process).  Guest vocalist Annie Haslam of Renaissance makes a stunning appearance on the album's title track, and outside of our own guitarist, Jeff Bishop, we owe serious props to Brett Kull (Echolyn), Rave Tesar (Renaissance), Matt Thomas (The Genesis Show), and Larry Fast (Synergy; Peter Gabriel, Foreigner, Nektar, Tony Levin, etc) for "Cycle's" superb recording, production, and mastering.  You can give the whole album a listen in the sidebar (via Bandcamp), on Spotify, YouTube Music, Amazon Music, and probably anywhere else streaming happens.  You can also check out our music video for "Embers" on YouTube, which dropped this past Monday (12/22/24)!  Physical copies of the record are available for purchase, but something wonky has been going on with Amazon since the release date, so send me a message if you'd like a disc!

Children.  Obviously the music stuff is exciting, but how does it seriously compare to tiny, smiling faces?  Tara and I welcomed a third child into our home on September 14th, 2023.  Born about a week past her due date, Melody Potter delights us with her infectious grins and giggles, and she literally came into our lives as an answer to prayer (a whole story in and of itself).  At four months, she coos and squeals and loves to bounce, and is most often surrounded by her adoring fan club (AKA big brother and sister).  She is such an easy-going, happy little thing that it's difficult to be frustrated with her midnight chatters for long.  After many rejected options, we chose her name based on two passages of Scripture, the former reminding us to worship the Lord fully and joyfully from our hearts, and the latter teaching us that God as sovereign Creator is the one who rightly shapes each individual as He desires them to be:

Ephesians 5.18: ...be filled with the Spirit, 19 addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, 20 giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ...

Isaiah 64.8: But now, O Lord, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are our potter; we are all the work of your hand.

Also (breaking reverse chronology for a second, but still under the topic of children...), my first daughter Nora is doomed to be a typical middle child.  Being the firstborn, Zeke got his own post here when he entered the world in 2018.  Now here I am taking paragraphs to talk about Melody.  But Nora never even got special mention.  So here are a few details about my favorite middle child... my passionate, explorative, spunky, willful, eager, knows-what-she-wants-all-the-time, 3-year-old.  Nora loves music -- listening and playing, and preferably turned up to 11.  She is constantly making up and belting out original or slightly plagiarized lyrics to her own made-up songs, which never seem to have any discernible tune or rhyme scheme, but feature repeated phrases like "HE WILL NEVER LET ME DOWN" and "YOU ARE MY GOD YOU SAVED MY SOUL" and sometimes "KNEES UP MOTHER BROWN."  Nora never wants help doing anything... until she decides tragically that she can't do some normal, everyday thing that she has previously insisted on doing all by herself.  Nora is creative, but doesn't prefer to color in the lines or follow instructions.  She is impossible to ignore.  She hates when we do anything to her hair, and would prefer it to be wild and unkempt all the time (until the static electricity drives her crazy).  Nora is a charmer, but probably has no inkling that she is using her adorable qualities to her own advantage (dangerous).  While her big brother is having a blast during his first year of Kindergarten, Nora is Mama's little helper and sometimes antagonist at home. She is adept at causing Melody to squeal -- both with delight and with frustration.  Nora's middle name is Salome, who was one of the eyewitnesses to the resurrection (Mark 16.1).  Nora is an observer, a dreamer, and a storyteller, delighting to tell you (and everyone) all of her stream-of-consciousness thoughts and imaginings -- exactly the kind of person who would have responded to Jesus rising from the grave by running and emphatically telling everyone.  I honestly can't describe the deep emotions this little one inspires in me... or just how much she fills my heart... or just how completely and effortlessly she drives me bonkers.

Ministry. Also of significance! After serving for 11 years in youth ministry, I shifted out of the role of youth pastor at Fellowship Bible Church and into a role of worship pastor. This nebulous title simply means that I'm the pastor at the church who spends the most amount of time planning services and working with our worship band and tech team, and also strapping on various guitars for various occasions. My goal in this change was to simply work within the skill set God has given to me, to train our people to love to sing truthful words about Jesus, and to be more available for the whole church family.  Youth ministry is an island -- a small church within a church -- and while I still love the students I've been connected to over the years, I'm so thankful I can be more connected with and available to the rest of the body God has assembled on the corner of Breakneck and Jackson roads.

Tangential to this is Tara's shift away from any part-time work to focus full-time on our children.  This change for her has been difficult, given her strong work ethic and upbringing, but (as all moms know) children are a curious labor of love that require deep reservoirs of emotional and mental energy, steeped in so much patience and grace that it's embarrassing for me to even consider how impatient and graceless I am -- as her spouse, and as a father.  Tara is actively using her God-given gifts of hospitality and administration to make our home in Swedesboro a place where the gospel is promoted and practiced among our family unit, and where guests are welcomed -- hopefully to leave more refreshed than they were when they arrived.  I can't begin to express how thankful I am for Tara, how proud I am of her, and how eager I am to see her feeling fulfilled in what she's doing.  She continues to be the greatest partner, friend, companion, bone-of-my-bone/flesh-of-my-flesh helpmeet any man could ever dream to have.  As we rapidly approach our 12th year married, we are excited to see what unique challenges and blessings the Lord has for us just over the horizon.

Writing.  Finally, way back in September of 2021, I worked up the nerve (after years of rewrites and coaxing by my agent, confidant, and voice of reason [Tara]) to self-publish a collection of short fiction pieces.  Self-publishing is so easy it feels like cheating, but I don't have the time, money, or business acumen necessary to be my own publicist, marketing consultant, or cheerleader on a more traditional route.  Amazon's Kindle Direct Publishing makes it simple to finalize your work in a variety of formats that look and feel very professional.  They Never Truly Leave is a bunch of stories almost all based on true events or the experiences of real-life people.  Though there are no recurring characters, each of these stories is a study in loss, grief, or personal trauma, and the nature of faith and human relationship at points of crisis.  As a pastor, it seems that the world is always so full of darkness and tragedy -- the obvious results of sin at work in the fabric of God's good creation.  And yet, it is also at the heaviest moments that the light of hope is seen most clearly, whether it's the impossible conjunction of circumstances or the undiminished and unabashed resolve of just one person who never stopped believing, the perspective touched by the redeeming love of Jesus can't help but notice His hand at work even in grief.  If you're interested, you can click on the image in the sidebar to see the book on Amazon, in both print and epub versions for e-readers.

So there you have it, the most significant pieces of my life, going backward from now to the time I unceremoniously left this blog to languish.  One of my goals for this new year has been to get back to more regular writing, and Tara has resolved to also help me get there, so I trust you'll have opportunity to check back in again as I get back to more regular posting form.

Thanks for reading!