10 May 2024

12 "church-goer" tropes


Throw a stone just about anywhere in America and you might hit a church.  Even for those raised outside of church culture, Judeo-Christian ethics and norms are well documented, and the average American may even be able to differentiate some of the theological particulars between denominations.  This makes sense, since only 28% of American citizens report being religious "nones" -- that is, those who hold an atheistic / agnostic perspective and lifestyle with no religious affinity whatsoever (stat per Pew Research).  However, if the 72% remainder do identify with a particular religion, that's a lot of people who at some stage have gone or are currently going to church.  This data begs a lot of questions.  For me, I'm particularly curious in knowing why people go to church, and how they define what "church" actually is.  What is it they are looking to accomplish by attending?  What are the practices of those counted in that 72% who consider themselves "spiritual" but not "religious" (i.e. believing in God, praying, etc, but not actively practicing their faith as part of a group)?

Ecclesiology (i.e. how to understand and define "church") is a rich and nuanced topic.  Most Christian schools of thought will agree that "church" is less a place than a community -- the people of God gathered, as opposed to the four walls in which they congregate.  However, all sorts of commercial Western notions have introduced subtle variations to this definition, such as viewing the church more as a 501(c)3 non-profit; as a group of majority voters ("shareholders") governed by a board of directors; as a thing legally quantifiable by its financial holdings, monthly giving totals, and number of available pews.

Depending on which view of "church" is held, I've found that church-goers more or less fall into 12 general types of church-goer.  I'm obviously coming at this from a Protestant's lens, though these definitely will find parallels in Catholicism and Judaism.  There are obviously too many nuances to capture all prototypes, so I've opted to focus on four areas commonly associated with religious observance: 1) attendance, 2)  official membership, 3) serving, and 4) giving.

Before diving in, here are a few contextual notes and definitions for those 4 qualifiers.

1. Attendance.  A 2022 survey found that only about a fifth of Americans attended church or synagogue on a weekly basis (per statista.com).  I've found it to be the case that even those who are officially registered members of their churches only average twice a month Sunday morning attendance.  Since most churches offer midweek services, programs, and other gatherings, the once a week stat probably still holds true for the average congregation.

2. Official membership.  Each church operates under a different philosophy for membership.  Many Protestant churches eschew the concept altogether, since all believers are members of the universal Body of Christ by virtue of faith in Him.  Other churches insist on membership as an arbitrary mechanism that comes along with tithing (giving).  Others still utilize it as a process as a teaching and protection mechanism for their congregations.  In the tropes below, I've mostly assumed official membership as a volitional commitment on the part of the church-goer.

3. Serving. This is the act of volunteering time, skills, and resources to the ministries of the church.  Those church-goers who are especially committed to these things might also be asked to serve in an official capacity as church deacon or elder.

4. Giving.  Commonly called "tithing," this for many churches is the sign of official commitment to the local body, and may be the act on which official membership hangs.  Many of the 72% of Americans who identify as religious practice tithing without actually attending their church.

Onto my tropes.  Are you in this list?  Am I?  Maybe even twice?

  1. The “Creaster” -- This first one is obligatory and obviously not original to me.  Regardless, this church attender is the one who only darkens the doors of their church on the major holidays and for special life events (family baptisms, funerals, holiday services, etc).  They probably still consider the local church they visit "their" church and may even be an official member there.  They possibly support this church by giving, likely in larger but infrequent amounts.
  2. The Streamer -- This church "attender" type originated in the mid 2010s with the advent of streaming technology, but which truly began to flourish in the Covid era.  This church "goer" rarely to never sets foot physically inside a church building, but probably considers the church whose services they view "their" church.  They possibly support this church financially and may even be an official member (from the time back before they stopped physically participating).
  3. The Jetter -- This church attender participates in services at their local church, but keeps interactions with other members of that church to a minimum -- beyond "hello" and "goodbye" in the parking lot, or brief conversation with the small circle of friends with whom they tend to sit.  This individual likely considers the church they attend "their" church and may even be an official member. They likely support this church through giving and consider that financial support their due input, as opposed to serving.
  4. The Hopper -- This church-goer attends church regularly, but in many different local church communities, either chasing interesting sermon topics or avoiding the ones that might get too personal.  They show up for a time with one local church gathering, then disappear to another, never setting down roots anywhere.  This individual likely gives and serves in the same manner, as they feel compelled, wherever they happen to be currently attending, but finds it impossible to become an official, committed member anywhere.
  5. The “Common Law” Member -- This church-goer has been faithfully attending, giving, and serving at the same home church for years but has never gone through any official membership channels, likely a) because they were burned in the past by a previous church family, or b) because they insist on a chapter/verse prooftext for membership practices.  They claim that higher membership to the Universal Body of Christ and demand (when asked) to know what privileges they don't already possess (or what responsibilities they aren't already fulfilling) that becoming a member would grant them.
  6. The Emergent Hippie -- This church-goer likely doesn't have a church they consider home, because they "follow Jesus," aren't really into "organized religion," and take issue with the way the whole 501(c)3 thing originated anyway.  They don't participate in giving, abhor membership, and don't pay attention to any church's programs or serving opportunities.  Like the "Common Law" Member, this individual may have also witnessed the ugliness of church politics or endured a church split, and now differentiates him/herself by considering him/herself "liberated" from church.  They may frequent various local bodies, but more likely worships God on hikes or in coffee houses and considers the homeless community they serve on Sunday mornings "their church."  This individual is almost certainly an outspoken evangelist in the wild.
  7. The Self-Flagellant -- This church-goer is involved in everything, all the time: if the doors of the church facility are unlocked, they're present (and if they happen to be elderly and/or retired, they are likely on-campus 15+ minutes early).  Serving is just what they do.  Their commitment to be so heavily involved may be in lieu of giving (because they believe they can't afford to contribute), or they may consider every available cent they have to be the property of the church.  They are almost certainly an official member.  Because of these patterns, they likely have a poor theology of rest and often seem frazzled at their normal post.
  8. The Suit and Tie -- This regular attender, giver, and probable member is punctual and upbeat and always "blessed," refusing to acknowledge the existence of any hardship or burden even if it is public knowledge.  They serve often and may frequently cross paths with the Self-Flagellant, but whereas the former may be willing to give voice to their challenges, the Suit and Tie would rather seek spiritual help outside of their church (if at all), to avoid the discomfort of being vulnerable.
  9. The Clan Member -- Every church (it seems) has that one last name that dominates the church directory (oftentimes, by sheer coincidence, it just so happens to also be the last name of one of the pastors, go figure).  This individual attends the same church with their parents, siblings, cousins, and more; if one family decides its time to pack up and leave, the rest will follow.  The Clan Member likely checks all the boxes of attending, serving, and giving, because the rest of the clan will give them grief if the norms are not observed.
  10. The Sunday-to-Sunday -- This individual can't miss a Sunday gathering because each time is like a new salvation experience after the steady emotional and spiritual desert of the regular work week.  This individual is a member almost without fail, likely checks the tithing box, but only serves if there are weektime ministry opportunities, because they could never bear to miss being present for the worship service.
  11. The Weektimer -- The opposite of the Sunday-to-Sunday, this individual is never present on a Sunday morning, but never misses midweek Bible study and may even be engaged in one of their church's connection groups.  Because they are never present with the whole church family, they may give occasionally out of a sense of guilt; however, due to work obligations or lifestyle, they consider themselves never available to serve and postpone official membership indefinitely for a time when their patterns have changed.
  12. The Influencer -- This individual is a part-time attendee and part-time livestream-viewer, but they will always find some way to share their opinions about all things good, bad, and ugly.  Their propensity to be vocal about the way things should or shouldn't be only goes up the more committed they are to giving.  Likely, this individual serves only in one-off kinds of capacities, because they find it hard to follow the instructions of a team leader, and are annoyed by the inability of fellow team members to do things the right way.

Amusing?  Or too close to home?  Are there tropes I missed that you've seen far too regularly?  What does a “perfect” church-goer look like, anyway?  Is there an ideal persona in the above list that we should be aiming for?

I write this post not just to poke fun.  I think there are several things each of us "church-goers" needs to do, especially if we take our faith seriously.

First, we need to evaluate how we view church.  Is it an arbitrary or familial responsibility?  Is it a place to go to keep me out of trouble?  Is it a place to grow and to serve?  Is it a more wholesome form of entertainment, and if so, can't I just safely consume that from behind a screen?  Is it a place to rack up community service hours?  Is it place for refreshment and spiritual nourishment?  Is it a commitment to something outside of myself?  Is it on specific gathering of believers, or a timeless, universal entity encompassing all believers everywhere?  Is it an identity, a community with which I am spiritually and corporately joined by virtue of my personal union with that body's Head, which is Christ?

The definition on which I land provides me with a bit of a vision statement, impacting and guiding all of my religious priorities and practices.  Where we find ourselves on the spectrum of ecclesiology likely dictates our sense of responsibility to the body, the importance it takes in our lives, and whether we come to it primarily as consumers or as contributors, constituents or benefactors.

When was the last time you tried to answer some of those questions above?

Second, when it comes to church practices, we need to be in a state of continual growth.  Whether we admit it or not, we all hate change.  Even those who claim to want to change things up all the time only want to do that by their moderation and approval.  So we all secretly (or not so secretly) want a church that doesn't ask too much, where we can sneak in and out when we don't want to be noticed, and that caters to our preferences.  But existing perpetually at that kind of equilibrium is the equivalent of spiritual stagnation.  Growth is a lifelong process of maturation.  Whether we are actively investing in our growth or not, we are always learning -- sometimes we are learning bad habits that harden our hearts and hone our practices in such a way that we become increasingly resistant to being moved in the future.  All of this means we need to be in the business of regular self-evaluation.  What is my current relationship to God and how is He calling me to go deeper?  What are my current church-going practices?  What needs to change?

For some, a period of intentional rest is critical, but not indefinite.  For others, a greater financial commitment to the local body that is ministering to them is the important next step.  For others still, getting out of the pew or off of the couch to be truly relational with their local body is not only necessary, but critical and life-giving.  Christian fellowship is not merely sharing a potluck meal on occasion.  Rather, it is living out our faith in community with other like-minded believers who will altogether sharpen one another by asking good questions and bear up under each other's burdens together when the going gets tough.

We need to combat our tendency to drift into perfunctory religiousness that makes us feel good about ourselves.  Ironically enough (as far as this post is concerned), the church attendance calendar, official membership, the tithing box, and the serving regimen are NOT the most effective metric for evaluating the quality of our spiritual lives.  In fact, those things by themselves profit nothing for eternity.  Their emphasis in an individual's life reveals one of two things: either a) a rich appreciation for the gospel, or b) the general human tendency to assume a works-based model for eternal security.  Religion that is truly effective does things, absolutely, but it originates from legitimate, heart-changing faith (see James 1 and 2).  Salvation is a work of God, not of our piety or innate goodness (see Ephesians 2).  Robust works must follow robust grace!  Religiousness might be good in many ways for society, but in and of itself has no power to grant any practitioner entrance to heaven.  Therefore, if we are merely appeasing our sense of guilt, keeping face with other church-goers, or just carrying out our parents' wishes, we are truly missing out.  Our salvation is for the joint purpose of knowing God intimately, celebrating His greatness, being transformed to be more like Him... and in so doing, also becoming more effective ministers to others.

So let's keep going to church, but let's not do it out of guilt or habit.

Let's go so we can be reminded weekly about the truth of the gospel, the power of the Scriptures, and the ongoing work of the Spirit within the lives of true believers.

Let's go and be fully present and vulnerable so we can increase our sense of interdependence within the community of faith.

Let's go and be fully committed to doing all the things that mark effective religion, because we've been rescued by a Savior who eternally committed Himself to us.

Let's go, but without a consumer mindset that assumes church is primarily about the spiritual ideas I receive and more about an opportunity to grow in my faith while I also contribute to helping others grow in theirs.

And frankly, let's go to a new church and put down roots there instead if the values expressed above are just not present in your current faith community.